Ananasfreak

Shooters always seem like a good idea when ordering a round for the table. But a sense of panic immediately wells up when the long trays of mini glasses appear at the table. The next day the only memory of the evening is an image of you belting out “No women, no cry” at a karaoke bar and high fiving total strangers.

Everyone knows that mixing shooters with drinks gets you drunk way too quickly and the truth is, they don’t even taste nice. Most bars have an extensive collection of shooters, all of which can be avoided by following these Simple 7 Steps.

1. Don’t say anything that can be interpreted as an “announcement”. If you announce something, people will reward this with a shooter to congratulate or sympathize with you.

2. Don’t get too excited if you run into an old friend, especially if you know that you won’t have time (or the emotional strength) to catch up on old times because he or she could suggest getting “a quick shot at the bar”.

3. If you are out with old friends, don’t speak about previous nights out that turned into rowdy gatherings. The reason why you shouldn’t do this is because your friends might get caught up in the memory of being a bit sloshed and try to rush the drinking process along by ordering shooters.

4. If the conversation topic turns to weird drinks and cocktails, it could lead someone at the table suggesting a round of shooters. So when people start chatting about odd drinks and shooters, laugh and roll your eyes while you say that you are “so over that stage of your life” in a very sophisticated tone.

5. Don’t linger by the bar because this will make you an easy target for creepy stalkers that crave human interaction and attention. These weirdos probably know that you won’t accept a drink from them (because you have your own crowd to get back to and can’t be bothered with making small talk throughout the duration of the drink they intend to buy you), but you could get suckered into a shooter. Avoiding eye contact usually works.

7. Beware the barman because he too, is a threat. Avoid these guys especially if the bar is quiet and they’re not up to their elbows pouring drinks and ringing up bills. Don’t be fooled into buying a shot when you go up to them to buy a drink. Practice saying “one (insert drink’s name) please” in a very stern voice to build of confidence.